What is happiness? To most, it would seem that happiness is a sentiment that comes with significant superficial personal gains. To Tal Ben-Shahar, the former professor of Positive Psychology at Harvard University, happiness is solely a conglomeration of choices made throughout one’s life. Dr. Ben-Shahar postulates that each and every decision one makes affects their happiness in one way or another. In essence, he says, the five major decisions that are responsible for dictating one’s happiness are:

1.  Allowing oneself to be human and make mistakes
2.  Showing gratitude
3.  Cultivating healthy relationships (and understanding that there is no replacement for real, intimate human interaction)
4.  Exercise
5.  Smiling

These five “choices” are ones people face on a daily basis. Oftentimes, people do not allow themselves to make mistakes and attempt to be something other than what they truly are, either to impress him or herself or another. People are often so afraid to make mistakes and face failure that they ultimately decide to never even attempt anything outside of their comfort zones. Hockey Hall-of-Famer, Wayne Gretzky, once said, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” To paraphrase, it is impossible to succeed until one tries, meaning one has to take action and do something that can possibly embarrass them or potentially lead to failure, regardless of the consequences. 

The second major decision we face on a daily basis that dictates our happiness is whether or not to show gratitude. Dr. Ben-Shahar frequently encourages students of his to engage in an activity. Every night, in the moments preceding bedtime, he asks his students to either write down or verbally state five things for which they are grateful. Dr. Ben-Shahar claims that he has noticed an undeniable correlation between heightened levels of happiness and increased focus on gratitude. Those who spend the most time counting their blessings are usually the people who are most happy. According to Dr. Ben-Shahar, this connection is irrefutable and this activity of acknowledging everything one has on a nightly basis is one that everybody should integrate into their lives.

Another significant choice people must make on a daily basis is whether or not to commit substantial periods of time into a relationship in order to cultivate it and improve it over time. Studies show that the happiest countries in the world are those that tend to put an emphasis on relationships and make them a priority. Cultivating intimate social relationships is incredibly important to the mental health of an individual, as there is no replacement for human-to-human interactions. Relationships made through a digital medium are never very strong and have been proven not to increase the level of happiness in an individual. Giving is also a central tenant to happiness. It has been proven that giving gifts to others provides a lingering positive emotional “high” while purchasing a gift for oneself leads to a minor increase in happiness but ultimately leads to an overall diminution in joy. The positive psychological benefits of giving to others is even mentioned in ancient Hebrew, where the word for giving, “נתן” (Natan) is a palindrome, meaning it is read the same both backward and forward. This shows how giving is a two-way street, as the person giving is taking away just as much as they are contributing.

The decision to perform regular physical exercise (30 minutes of aerobic exercise three times a week) is a significant one that not only impacts the physical profile of a person, but also their mental composition. In fact, Dr. Ben-Shahar argues that avoiding exercise is the equivalent of taking a depressant. Performing regular physical exercise has been proven to have the same effect on one’s psychological well-being as some of the strongest psychiatric medications. The correlation between frequent physical exercise and improved mental health is unquestionable. One common trend seen within students is that during the most stressful time of the year, finals week, they tend to disregard exercise, which is a dire mistake. During this period of increased anxiety, one should double-down on the exercise in order to combat stress and better their mental state in preparation for the daunting task ahead. Studies show that regular exercise reduces levels of the stress inducing chemical, cortisol, and brings about countless psychological benefits.

The final decision we must make every day in regard to our happiness is whether or not to smile. Thich Nhat Hanh, a Vietnamese Zen Master, says, “Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.” Oftentimes, our psychology follows our physiology, so the way we compose ourselves has an impact on our mental health. If one moves around lackadaisically and slouches constantly, their mind will eventually follow the same pattern and these people will often be unhappy. In Pirkei Avot, a famous Torah portion, we learn to act like a martyr, as it will influence our psychology and help us become so. Forcing ourselves to smile can lead to improved mental health and can unintentionally increase our levels of happiness. 

Due to the intricate nature of the human brain, it is impossible to fully grasp all of its dynamics and subtleties. Tal Ben-Shahar summed up his class in four simple words: “MAKE HAPPINESS A PRIORITY.” There are many people who prioritize success in either the business realm or in their private life, yet what most people fail to understand is that success does not always translate to happiness. Happiness is all about making choices. Whether it be stepping out of one’s comfort zone or doing something as trivial as smiling more often, becoming a happier person comes from small decisions that build up over a long time to determine one’s character and psychological state. In its most basic form, positive psychology, and on a broader scale, happiness, is truly about making small tweaks to one’s life over time in order to improve one’s outlook on life and create positive psychological tendencies for the mind.